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Sat, Feb 19TEDDY TODAYColumn by Andrea Winterdeutsch Karin, my lovely colleague on this column, let us already know about the weird procedures one had to go through, trying to get into the Berlinale Palast to see the press screenings there. One felt actually quite sorry for the security staff, which had to follow such strange orders. Yesterday they searched through the luggage for cameras; today they were looking for tape recorders – as if there would be any journalist who needed this kind of stuff. Hey kids, serious - the press material for this festival – we’ve got that already weeks ago!
Professionals from all over the world are trying to work here, not the replacement staff from a school paper in the middle of nowhere! The day after tomorrow they are probably going to check whether all of us got a clean Speedo on or sending the trace dogs looking for used condoms in our bags!
Second reason why the Berlinale has to end eventually: constantly moans an exhausted colleague next to me, curls up in the seat and snores until the credits of the film, he or she was actually supposed to see, show up. Sometimes I’m so grateful for having subtitles! Really! Thanx men! On top of that the coughing, sneezing and blowing one’s nose - this pretty much appreciated background noise in all of the screenings – it’s permanently getting worse! The grippe wave - it reached Berlin! Therefore all of you – yeah I’m talking to you guys - the fans of oral sex: You have to be very, very cautious now! Lately Marie Vermeeren, the programmer of “Pink Screens” Brussels, told me to deliver some kisses to Manuela to the Panorama office by her. I confess: I didn’t deliver! Because the bad influence one catches by e.g. kissing. Yeah guys, how scary is that? However one of our corporate rules is anyway: “Don’t kiss or fuck the company”. A concept my girlfriend knows to appreciate as well. By the way: did you know that neither Manuela nor myself are actually lesbians? Because dykes are these ugly, man-hating women who still wear baggy hippie clothes. This I learned by a comment of an I-want-to-be-a-serious-journalist or at-least-a-comedian at the Radio Eins morning show. In his quite odd satire this poor guy lies in bed with his girlfriend and doesn’t get a hard on. Sure, that man has to compensate his kind of dick problems and has – therefore - to talk dumb shit about his mother in law, who happens to be – of course – one of these mean dykes, wearing slobby dungarees. Now I’m always getting upset whenever I pass by the Radio Eins bus in front of the CinemaxX. As a sensitive pal I can feel sorry for the collective trauma of straight men, because the pretty Jodie Foster rather took sperm by an anonymous donor to raise now the two kids with her girlfriend. But hey guys: That’s what we have shrinks for! The man-hating dyke who couldn’t get a male date, isn’t that a pretty outdated fairy tale by straight men who want to change the subject, because there are actually women who don’t want to suck their dick? End of talk.
The countdown of the Teddy goes on and Ingo Taubhorn, Berlinale host at the cinema “International”, was quite excited to see how he and his team are going to manage their “Mission Impossible” tonight. To watch them clearing and changing the hall in going ready for-party-state in just 10 minutes is going to be fun, I guess. The Last Picture Show ends 0.20, the Teddy show is supposed to start already 0.30 a.m. Good luck guys! |
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Hours later: They actually made it! Only 30 minutes later than planned the weight loss Teddy Award started. Moderated by the playful and very professional couple: Wieland Speck and Margaret von Schiller. They should do it actually every year from now on. Klaus Wowereit, our gay mayor, gave the Berliners and their city again lots of credit for their openness towards “alternative lifestyles”. In particular he welcomed the straight people in the audience and one of them was even brave enough for an outing. Wowi left the stage just after a few words about the financial problems of this Teddy year. In the future he asked the organisers and the Berlinale in general not to fail again just for money reasons.
Veronika Minder was delighted to get the Teddy for her amusing documentary about 100 years of lesbian history in Switzerland –“KATZENBALL”.
The short film Teddy went to Jay Duplass and his movie “THE INTERVENTION”.
He couldn’t believe his success and said that the 3000 Euro – coming with the little statue – was the highest amount he ever got for filmmaking. Obviously the jury’s decision about the best feature film was more difficult. But in the end “UN AÑO SIN AMOR” succeeded; the SM-adventures of a HIV positive writer. The highly pregnant director Anahi Berneri already left Berlin, and so her beaming producer caressed his Teddy all night long and promised to even have sex with him. Interesting idea.
And the party? A blast on five dancefloors, a pretty much packed V.I.P: lounge, adventurous wigs and gigantic high heels. And so this column by Karin and me ends finally. While all of the other guys are still partying and relaxing we were sitting on the computer and practiced some kind of creative writing. Karin, you did a great job! For the Teddy next year all of you will come again, won’t you? Because the Teddy gets old and grey now and celebrates next year already its 20. Birthday! Believe it or not! I, myself, pretty much enjoyed talking before, in between and after the screenings with people from the audience, members of the Berlinale staff and the who’s who of queer cinema. I’ve got a conclusion by now: we are family! |
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